Advice at Each Step on the Road to Rock-Bottom Riches
The Way There:
- Best Meal Tip: In advance, ask for the "Severe Hypoglycemia Meal." Odds are you'll get a first class meal ticket.
At the No-Tell-Motel:
- Best Time-saver at Checkout: When paying in-house bills (such as restaurant, store and spa bills), try rounding every bill total to end with a "6." At checkout, if there are any non-sixes along the list of charges, odds are there's been a mix-up. After all, the chances of an accidental 6 are about 9-7, in your favor!
- Best Lifesaver if You Can't Checkout: A Hotel is generally not permitted to kick you to the curb if you've used your credit card (established credit) and/or paid on time.
Yes, we've impeccably researched this stuff, and it gets even better, after the jump.
In the Casino/Track:
- Best Motto: Seldomly Split Tens, unless dealer's got 19.
- Best Horseracing Nutshell- The younger the horse, the better it will fare, generally. Take the jockey's experience into account, too, as well as the horses' position outside the post. The farther from the post, the more it must travel to make up lost distance.
- Best Lifesaver from Low-Lives: Carry money to keep muggers happy. They have to live with the fact they just lost everything on Mr. Ed. You can walk away intact if you keep them satisfied.
- The Best City to Play Slots: Atlantic City (fixed 83% payouts; variable in Vegas).
- Best Slot Hack: The best slots are located 3 or 4 inside the row along as busy aisle, not by the door.
- Best Hack to Detect a Cheat: To detect a pair of loaded dice, drop them in water and see the same sides float face up.
The Trip Home:
- Best Safety Tip for the Sweet-Tooth- Don't fly within 12 hours of dental work.
- Best Home Remedy to Prevent an Explosive Ass- take Pepto Bismol several hours/days before the flight. Research from a Texas medical school showed that only 14/62 people who had taken 4 tbsp. of Pepto for 21 days prior, developed intestinal cramping, while 40/66 people who took the placebo were stricken thereafter.
- Best Way to Continue Winnings - Board the Wrong Flight. Apparently, airlines are required to reimburse people to board the wrong flight and may offer a "futile flight refund", for which you would have to apply. Not advised, unless you're bf is Gino in Cell Bock Two and you're up for some long, quality alone-time.
- Best Ways to Get Out of an Airline's Limitation on Liability, if You Sue: (a) Argue Willful Misconduct; (b) Attack the adequacy of the contract on the back of your ticket, which has been successful before; and (c) show that you never received your ticket. But consult a lawyer, Silly.



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