Bar Exam-takers:
Take it from someone who passed the California Bar (1st try) but whose prospects were so dim his own mother couldn't hold back her look of surprise, here are a few tips as you go into the most important stretch of exam-studying, perhaps of your lives--if you want to add a Doomsday element to all the drama. For other non-Bar-takers, abstraction should land you at an equally applicable list of general strategies, be it for your Chemistry final or that second-friday drug test. Here goes, in no particular order, and compiled with such authority it was executed in record ("Smokin'") time:
- Don't think about consequences, as much as you can help it. This means no, "What will my Ma think?" drama.
- Related to #1, don't study at your upcoming place of employment, even if they promise to leave you alone.
- Get to the PMBR (practice exam) early to get the best seats near the aisle, by the door. Bring a sweater, as it's cold in those hotel cave-convention centers.
- Leave PMBR early. Unless you were shocked by how badly you did, it's just not worth sitting through a recitation of all the answers, as written in the answer key. This advice only applies if you actually read the answers and understand them on your own time.
- Never underestimate the ability of electronic devices to interrupt the actual test-taking process
- Ignore that girl from Yale. She will Fail.
- Get an amazing outline. Or get 5 mediocre ones. Execute your Bar/Bri (study sessions) from these. Do not waste your time or inflame your carpel-tunnel by regurgitating the same crap "in your own words." If it ain't broken...
- Cut off all histrionic friends. Cut off all friends who make you feel guilty for not-calling right now. Cut off all family members who ask too many questions or constantly ask you if your practice score is improving, or in my case, "Are you going to pass?" Cut off contact from all obligation, you have my permission.
- Related to #8, do not study with friends, in your law school's library, or at any of your regular hangouts. If you can't be alone for long periods, become easily distracted, and/or cannot concentrate on the most boring material you've ever studied, you probably shouldn't be an attorney anyway.
- Hide a few chocolate covered espresso beans in your pockets on game day. If you need a little pick-me-up, it will do the trick. Unless you were the narcoleptic guy 4 rows in front of me last year who fell asleep on the third day. Please refer to #9.
Final Thoughts: Test day is not the time
to reevaluate your life goals. Finish the test. Finish. The. Test. You
can't win unless you play. You can reevaluate after the exam, for sure.
Take Your Truly, for example. I'm now paying back my $140,000 NYU Law
education a penny at a time, by capitalizing on stray Adsense
click-throughs.
Keep your eyes on the prize; fuck your life up later!
Interested in passing a drug test? Check here for more information on how to do just that!
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